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Breaking up with your frenemies

one bad apple

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’” (1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV).

Another way of saying it: one bad apple spoils the bunch.

In my book Sexy Girls, I wrote that God knows that we become like who we hang out with and we also make others think we already are like those we hang out with. If your believing friend isn’t being faithful, she is bringing you and your God down. This is serious business; it isn’t as easy as just saying, “Oh well, she’ll get better.” She might get better, but it might take you telling her that you can’t hang out with her anymore for her to do it. Don’t let her put a guilt trip on you and tell you, “You just think you’re better than me.” If being around this ‘friend’ leads you to sin, flee (that means run!)

He isn’t pleased with the actions you’ve allowed in your life, so you need to distance yourself from them. You aren’t perfect, but if you know someone is a bad influence on you, you have to quit cold turkey. I know this sounds like such an extreme thing to do, but if your faith isn’t extreme, then what good is it? Part of being faithful involves pain. It hurts when we separate from the world. Separate so that you can pray for strength for you and change for your friend.

Your turn: have you had to do this? Has someone done this to you? How do you differentiate between fleeing evil company and being a ‘friend of sinners’ like Jesus was?

  • http://www.missypolla@multiply.com Pops Fernandez

    Kudos Hayley! This book is interesting, how can i order it? Will this be available in the Philippines?Or do you have Audio Book for this?

  • http://www.inhotpursuitofgod.blogspot.com Erin

    You know what is funny, Hayley? I had a friend break up with me because I was too Christian. And this friend of mine is a Christian. Whoa.
    I had been feeling, for most of our friendship, that she was a Christian who cared more about pleasing the world than pleasing God. But I didn’t walk away from her. In fact, when she broke up with me, we were at the point of talking on the phone daily. The topic of most of our conversations? Boys. I was really hurt when she told me that she didn’t want to be friends with a rigid Christian who doesn’t like cussing. Of course, I was also confused. Cognitive dissonance, to say the least! And I realized that God had to do what I didn’t have the guts to do myself. Our separation freed me from thoughts about stuff I didn’t really care all that much about. It freed me to go back to focusing on my relationship with Jesus and developing intimate friendships.
    I see her occassionally because we have mutual friends. Not much has changed with her and that is hard for me to watch. But I know God has a plan for her and perhaps he’ll even use my “rigid Christianity” to change her life.
    Love ya,
    Erin

  • Mary

    Being friends of sinners is about respect. I have two friends that are like sisters, but they are not practicing Christians and they believe in anti-christian lifestyles and practices, like premarital sex, gay marriage, and abortion rights, to name a few. But, we’re honest about our differences and don’t beat each other over the head, or try to force one another to believe differently. They respect that I’m Christian. I don’t give opinions unless I’m asked, and they know not to invite me to activities I don’t believe in. We respect and love one another,so it’s all good.

    Now, if one of them were to tell me that she planned to have a child out of wedlock or be a surrogate mother, I’d have to tell her . But, I’d tell her why it’s a bad idea . If she decided to do it anyway, I admit, I’m not sure I could remain friends with her. What would you do in that situation?

    Best,
    Mary