In our latest release, Over It: Letting God Get You Past Life’s Hurts, Michael and I talk a lot about suffering, and of course, how to get over it. We are finding, as we do interviews on the topic, that there are countless people suffering from a lot of pain, both physical and emotional. So in an attempt to continue the conversation and to shed more light on the keys to getting over all the pain, suffering and trials in your life with God’s help, I thought I’d post this new way of thinking about your pain.
In Ps. 119:71 it says, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” (NLT) Did you know that even the most messy and horrible stuff wasn’t meant to destroy you but to make you stronger and more holy. Even the biggest pain in your life can be a tool in the hand of the sculptor if you are only willing to stand still and let him do his work. When you can do that, nothing others do can destroy you. Even if they plot against you, attack you, and hate you, you are still hopeful and confident in the one who saves.
God’s Word confirms this truth through the story of Joseph’s life. This is a guy who knows about pain. He was hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, and put into prison, but still he knew who was in charge. He was certain of it, and in the end he was able to say to his brothers, “Even though you planned evil against me, God planned good to come out of it” (Gen. 50:20).
When pain comes your way, you can follow one of two lines of questioning. One is to ask, “Why me?” It’s the natural response to pain and suffering to ask, “What have I done wrong? Why me?” and even “Where was God in all this? Doesn’t he care?” These questions make sense to the natural mind, and they are the usual gut response, but they don’t usually get you anywhere. The problem is that they are accusatory. They assume that you shouldn’t have been the one suffering, and so God must have messed up. This line of questioning is more self-centered than God-centered, so the answers you get never fully satisfy you.
But there is another line of questioning that soothes the believing heart and is at the very least a foundation for getting your ultimate answer. It begins something like this: “Could God have stopped whatever it is that is making me suffer?” That’s a foundational question, and it says a lot about what you believe about God. If you can confidently answer yes, then good for you; you’re on the right track. But if you can’t answer yes, then you need to learn more about God and what we call his sovereignty, which is his power over the world and everything that happens in it.
Let’s take a quick look at Daniel 4:35 and see if it helps you get a better picture:
“Everyone who lives on earth is nothing compared to him. He does whatever he wishes with the army of heaven and with those who live on earth. There is no one who can oppose him or ask him, “What are you doing?”
Did you get that? This is where we see that asking “Why me?” is really a silly exercise. Are you really gonna ask God what he’s doing? Really? Sounds silly when you say it like that, doesn’t it? Especially when you read Isaiah 45:7, that says,
“I send good times and bad times. I, the Lord, am the one who does these things.” (NLT)
God’s Word confirms it: he’s got everything under control. Nothing happens to you that you can’t bear (see 1 Cor. 10:13) and that isn’t meant for good, because we know that God never intends anything for bad.
Okay, if God has everything under control and he didn’t stop what led to your pain, why didn’t he? Now this kind of question (unlike “Why me?”) is powerful. “Why didn’t he?” is the beginning of a great discovery. It’s the beginning of making use of the pain rather than resenting it and wishing it away. Asking “Why did God let this happen?” is the first step toward getting over it for good.
Are you suffering? If so, then can you take a sober look at your life and see why God might be allowing the suffering you are living through today, to come into your life? If so, share it with us, it might just shed light on the suffering of others.
